I love the Lord God with all my heart and soul. I’ve experienced God change my life tremendously: He’s healed my body renewed my mind, and helped me overcome bad habits. I’ve come to know God, and yet I still don’t know God.
However, one day, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and whispered, I am going to test everything you know about me to be true.
Those words didn’t scare me as much as they ignited my imagination. I’ve been blessed tremendously by the Lord. He has sustained me in many ways that others desire and long for. I do not take these current blessings lightly or for granted. I stand on God’s word that, the willing and the obedient will eat the good of the land and He rewards those who seek him diligently. Well what happens when you seek God and pray for things, but they don’t come to pass? What happens when the very thing you’ve prayed for is gifted to someone else? Even worse, is what if that someone else doesn’t spend as much time with the Lord and living in partiality? Do you dare repeat that God is no respecter of persons and carry on? Or do you cry and wonder what has happened to you? Why this is happening?
I look at Job in Job 13. His response to his accusers is simple. I know and have examined myself. I have no iniquity dwelling in me, and though I am going through this, I trust God. Job’s problem wasn’t really the circumstance, it was the silence. He wanted Gods answer and longed for an explanation. Well so did I. However, after seeking God and pouring out my heart, I realized that it didn’t matter. God does what he says he will do all the time. He just doesn’t give us the time. In moments like these, I ask myself, “Am I seeking the hand of God or the heart of God.” Above all else, God is still God. He still sits on the throne and is worthy to be praised. My simple needs have been met and there’s no need to worry about the future and much less the past.
I can compare myself to others or I can rest in God’s purpose and provision in the right season. I can try to manipulate situations to make a blessing, so I feel better or I can give my broken heart, fragmented mind, and tears to the Father to sort out.
So this week, I chose to give it God and lay it all down at the feet of Jesus. In doing so, I realized that something in me changed. I elevated to another level where I could let go of hurt, offense, and entitlement. The truth is, God desires elevation on all levels. Faith must build and remain. In order to get to my next level blessing and my new season assignments, I have to go up. No longer can I stand around in the corner and hope for fate. I can no longer rely on the recommendation from others. I must let the light of the Lord shine through me. I must come out of the shell of past failure and disappointment and head straight into love and blessing. I must dive in head first into a vast ocean that’s freezing cold, but pure blue. Blue enough to wash away all the old friendships, jobs, ideas, and dreams and replaced with a Holy Vision of Wholeness for my life.